It's someone's birthday, apparently, so we are all expected to eat our own body weight in crystallised fruits and watch a two part 'Countryfile' special.
Happily, we are able to present an alternative - archive footage of the 1974 Christmas 'Top Of The Pops' featuring a performance of the best selling record of that year, 'Rub My Tummy' by the astonishing Zenda Jacks.
If you recall, this is the show which culminated in Dave Lee Travis being arrested live on camera, frogmarched out of the studio and then summarily executed by machine gun in the Blue Peter Garden. Happy days.
Merry whatnot to you all, and here's to a very happy, safe and contented whatever the hell next year is.