THE TERRIFYING AND UNKNOWABLE FACES OF PREHISTORY

Number Two & Three:

Riace Bronzes

(Greece) circa 460-430 BC

FLASH OF RECOGNITION

'Starblazer' never really got the credit it deserved for its innovative artwork. Here it completely updates the 1980 Flash Gordon film poster by merely adding a beret and a couple of spooky looking skulls, thereby making it at least 26,000 times better.

What's the difference between an android and a cyborg? An android is a robot who looks like a man; a cyborg is a man with mechanical parts who, clearly, needs chasing by a 'one many army'. 13p well spent.

THE DARKNESS

‘They Used Dark Forces’ was published in 1964, and is about magicians in the last days of WW2 battling for the supremacy of the countries that they represent. That sounds terribly exciting, but, like all Dennis Wheatley books, it is too leaden and drawn out to completely fulfil its promise, let alone make good on its fantastic cover art. 

In an extension of a stage hypnotist making a man eat an onion as if t’were an apple, the English Magus influences nasty, nutty old Hitler to shoot himself so that, of all things, he can be reincarnated as the leader of a Martian master race and then travel across space to have another (successful, this time) go at Earth. The always gullible Fuhrer falls for this obvious crock of crap and blows his mad brains out, cue end of war in Europe*. No less than he deserved, he was a bloody idiot. 

There's a picture of Dennis on the back of the book. He is no doubt trying to look like the epitome of the epicurean in his fancy smoking jacket, but instead resembles a bad waxwork. 

  

One of the things we've always liked best about black magicians is that they have no code of conduct. You won’t get one whining about how it would be ‘unethical’ to kill a man using magic, they just kill the bloke. We suppose that being a black magician is a bit like joining the Readers Digest, you realise you are letting yourself into, and know that you are committed to it until death, perhaps beyond. The Law of Man and God has very little to do with it. 

Wheatley’s magician, Gregory Sallust, features in several of his books. A little known fact is that the character was based on a real life wartime figure, William Wallace, a mystic and wizard who advised Churchill on a number of occasions. After the war, Wallace became better known as popular magician Ali Bongo.

^{*Yes, we thought The Unknown Soldier was behind this, too.}

NOW, SCIENCE NOW

Somewhere along the line, the TOMTIT archive has managed to accrue around three thousand copies of this marvellous Marshall Cavendish publication. It will be our ongoing pleasure to share a few of the covers with you. All you have to do is look. If that's not too much trouble, that is.  

GRANGE HELL

England, 1989. If you were there, then it's likely you were one of the millions of viewers who witnessed the ritualistic slaying of 'difficult' pupil Danny Kendall, by Mystic Master Bronson, the most feared of all teachers in the long running television drama series, Grange Hill.

The events leading up to this tragedy were bizarre to say the least, and those who innocently experienced this horror from the comfort of their own home remain forever scarred.

To mark the 25th anniversary of Danny's terrible fate, I have assembled a sonic account of the days leading up to the grisly discovery of Danny's corpse, found in the back of Bronson's car by some of Kendall's horrified classmates.

The piece ends with a chilling version of the iconic theme tune, altered out of respect by the BBC, and only heard once (until now).

To spare the pupils of Grange Hill the nerve shattering details of the case (and possibly protect the name of the school), headmistress Mrs McCluskey explained Danny's death as having occurred as the result of a "brain illness"; but listening to these recordings brings the true nature of this horrible murder into sinister focus.

Bronson walked away a free man, presumably continuing to practice his vile magic on others, while the students planted a tree in the grounds of the school, in a tribute to their fallen friend.

You can examine the case for yourself by downloading it here - or by listening via the link below...

TWO HEADS ARE BETTER THAN ONE; AN INFINITE NUMBER OF HEADS IS PREFERABLE

Further to the post below, it's worth pointing out that TOMTIT has been conducting experimental psychical research for some nine years now, at enormous cost and with inconclusive results. 

On the plus side, people have stopped dying, and this has led to enormous reductions in our waste disposal bill. On the negative side, there are still far too many nose-bleeds, ear-bleeds and eye-bleeds happening, and poor Fearlono has been in two irreversible comas. 

This kid doesn't look too happy, granted, but then he's a selfish little twerp. The discomfort he is going through on a daily basis isn't for his benefit, it's for all mankind. Do e-mail us if you'd like to sponsor him. Does six quid a month sound reasonable?

Our Bible is John L. Randall’s 'Parapsychology and The Nature of Life'. We’ve never read it, but the cover is great and it is subtitled ‘A Scientific Appraisal’ ,so it’s bound to be spot on. Sure, there could have been an infinite number of heads in the illustration but that’s hardly John L. Randall’s fault, unless he did the illustration in which case it is. 

The chapter titles are brilliant: The Descent of Man; Life In The Test Tube; The Existential Vacuum; Psi In The Space Age; Mechanism In The Melting Pot and many, many, many others.

Top secret work in our soundproof science dungeon continues, and we will not give up until we find irrefutable and incontrovertible proof of our theory that everyone is sort of psychic. But then you probably already knew that.

We feel we’re on the verge of a breakthrough. We have done for ages. 

THE 'E' IS FOR EXPERIMENTAL

Experimental Psychical Research. That's the best kind, isn't it?

This is Robert H. Thouless. He has kind eyes, which leads us to believe that his experiments were moderately humane, but his hair seems to be saying 'psychotic sadist', so we don't know what to think.

OUR FAVOURITE RADIOPHONIC RAVE GROUP WITH A DANCING APE VIDEO

Number One: 

Das Dots