STERILE VIRTUE

New Crete is a society far in the future that knows no hunger and no dissatisfaction, where war has become a game played on village greens, where the poets and magicians of a strange occult religion keep all classes of the population happy with their lot. As time traveller Edward Venn-Thomas finds out, however, this utopia has one major flaw: it's really, really fucking boring, so he decides to teach them to live again by reintroducing evil into their lives. 

Can we make that joke about it being based on a true story again? Why not, no-one appears to be looking.  

SHIT BEAST

We couldn't decide whether this unpleasant and hungry looking creature was a cat, a dog, a mutated rabbit, a 'mind spider' or a Taiwanese poster for 'Gremlins' before realising that it was just a rubbish painting and not worth the six and a half hours we'd just spent arguing about it.

FUTURE PAST

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A STRANGE, ENCHANTED BOY

Seems like the perfect time for recriminations if you ask us. 

In the next few frames, the plane crashes, and the baby is lost. He is saved by pseudo Greek Gods with elemental responsibilities* and then returned to his grieving parents fully charged with mastery of the elements as the amazing all new NATURE BOY! 

Oh, and he bloody hates crime!

* King Neptune (sea), King Gusto (wind), King Fura (fire), Queen Eartha (earth), Queen Allura (love), Queen Azura (sky), King Electra (electricity), King Friga (cold). Quite a complicated set up. It's like 'Game Of Thrones' on some sort of stimulant.