STUFF WE SHOULD REALLY GET RID OF

We'd totally bin this, but we're waiting for a Letraset Haunted House Action Transfers Panorama Set to turn up on e-bay, as the opportunity of combining the two is something we just can't resist.

Gary Glitter for your watch and finger nails? Well, fair exchange is no robbery.

THE LES HUMPHRIES SINGERS

Ladies and gentlemen, reset everything you know, it's The Les Humphries Singers...

THERE WAS A VILLAGE WITH A WITCH

Weird War formed in 2001 from the remains of two cult groups, The Make-Up and Royal Trux. Front man Ian Svenonius is a serial band starter, as well as being a man who knows how to write a classic pop song – and then how to subvert it so that it sounds lo-fi and disjointed and as if it was cobbled together in a burning shed at 3am. 

In this clip you can get a feel for their signature style, as well as their dry sense of humour and obsession with The Occult. 

After three albums, the group currently appear to have been superceded by a new Svenonius project called Chain and The Gang, but things in his world are fairly fluid so they may well be back. 

Weird War are named after a long running DC Comic which combined war, horror and sci fi to provide a series of unsettling (and occasionally ridiculous) ‘Twilight Zone’ type tales. We’ll come back to it, because there’s much to say, but, in the meantime, here’s a cover which recasts The Wermacht as a bunch of gorillas.

ABDOMINAL INTIMACY

It's someone's birthday, apparently, so we are all expected to eat our own body weight in crystallised fruits and watch a two part 'Countryfile' special. 

Happily, we are able to present an alternative - archive footage of the 1974 Christmas 'Top Of The Pops' featuring a performance of the best selling record of that year, 'Rub My Tummy' by the astonishing Zenda Jacks. 

If you recall, this is the show which culminated in Dave Lee Travis being arrested live on camera, frogmarched out of the studio and then summarily executed by machine gun in the Blue Peter Garden. Happy days.

Merry whatnot to you all, and here's to a very happy, safe and contented whatever the hell next year is.